Many of us practice the tenet of introspection without being consciously aware of it. When we are faced with situations/crisis and then reflect back on them and our actions, that IS introspection. You are living a life of growth and your introspection will reflect itself when another such crisis appears.
For a perfect example, I want to share a recent interaction with my sister, Lisa Frazeur, the co-author of this blog (who has yet to appear)! Rather than telling her story for you, I want to share her Artist Statement and the work to which it refers.
SUICIDE IDEATION
ARTIST STATEMENT OF LISA CREEKBAUM FRAZEUR
Growing up, I was the writer and my
sister was the artist. Sibling rivalry
prevailed over any common ground we could have shared as creative souls. As adults, we have slowly and painfully
become friends.
Lines of poetry and art now constantly
cross between us. I remember reading an
entry my sister made in a notebook very early on in her marriage, lines she
wrote about trying to fly with a broken wing, and it broke my heart. I thought to myself, “Oh my God, she’s a
poet.” Recently, she told me I needed to
use an old box of razor blades - the ones I kept hidden for years in case of an
emergency suicide - in a piece of artwork.
I thought to myself, “Oh my God, she thinks I’m an artist.”
In my most recent piece, a razor
bracelet, I did not use the same razor blades my sister first suggested - The
blades were large and rusted. I thought
“If I were going to commit suicide, it wouldn’t be as ugly as this. I would buy
new blades; I wouldn’t use rusted ones.
I would use something more elegant.
And it most certainly would be a beautifully planned death so there
would be no mistake it was what I wanted.”
Instead, I chose to create the razor bracelet out of blades we use as
artists. They are thin, light, and quite
precise.
I think “normal” people perceive suicide
as repulsive, something to run away from.
I have fantasized about it. I
have longed for it. I have placed
Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Path on pedestals I believed I could never
reach. But I have equally longed to lose
this incessant desire to die. It is a
demon I have struggled with for twenty years.
The question I find myself asking these days is “What if Virginia Woolf
and Sylvia Plath actually kept writing, kept creating through all of that
pain? What wisdom, what jewels could
they have left behind for the rest of us who seem to be living the same
nightmare day after day? I want to
become the woman each of them had the potential to become. I don’t want to give up.
Poetry and art allow me to say “This is
what I struggle with. It isn’t
pretty. In fact, it’s terrifying.” When I am able to move that pain inside out
and look it in the eyes, it no longer has any more power over me. Then, somehow, razor blades - like my
sister’s ceramic slugs - are transformed into something beautiful.
One little footnote . . . the piece she is referring to wherein I utilize slugs, is "SLUG FEST":
So, my dear ones, when have you unknowingly practiced introspection and can you pinpoint where it worked in your personal/creative growth?
