I have spent the last couple of weeks in La-La Land with visions of ballerina circus performers dancing around in brightly colored, whimsical slippers wrapped in glitter-drenched ribbons. Because I want to start having some fun in my life. Before I kill myself. La-La Land can be a very safe place - if you don't look back. I always look back. Then, I see myself in a fresh light - and it's usually not very pretty.
I'm far from fitting into a pair of ballet slippers. I've been trudging around in combat boots for 23 years. I think I put them on for the first time when my husband left the Marine Corps, coincidentally the same time the rest of his squadron was climbing into a transport plane - destination Desert Storm. The circumstances leading up to his "medical discharge" are, in my most generous words, inconsistent and suspicious - like a mystery soup. A mystery soup he had been feeding me since I was 17.
So, in 1990, off came his combat boots. And I put on mine. I've had them on ever since. I fought to get out of that marriage. I fought to keep my kids. I fought to keep my sanity. I fought to find true love. I fought breast cancer. I fought to keep my job. I fought, I fought, I fought.
Now, the war is over and I'm still fighting. I have to stop. I've done my time. I need some R&R!
I'm starting by taking off my combat boots. Then I am going to nurse my tired, worn-out feet and pamper them until they are soft as a baby's bottom. Then, who knows, maybe I'll drench my toenails in some glitter. I don't want new shoes right now. I want to go barefoot for awhile.
Plan in action. Photos to follow. The glitter though? Probably not so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment